Twitter Dee, Twitter Dumb

My boss instructed me some time back to begin Twittering—or is it Tweetin’?—as part of my job. I struck a confident pose and told her I would get right on it. I had no idea what she was talking about. A few hours of Internet research and discussions with people under age 30 educated me about Twitter. It is a short message system, via Internet or cell phone, that carries a running commentary of subscribers’ random thoughts and observations. A Twitterer follows other Twitterers’ Tweets. A Tweet can go up to 140 characters in length. I can’t write a “please excuse” school-absence note in so few characters. But try I must, so here are some Tweets I would have posted on Orlando magazine’s Twitter page had I been able to figure out how to do it.


Mike Boslet

After thoughtful consideration with my sleeping dog, I have decided that I have held a job longer than Gov. Suntan.
11:02 AM May 12th from HootSuite

Charlie Crist just Tweeted he’s running for Senate. Man can’t stay in any office longer than a term. . . . Didn’t we just have a president who failed forward all his life?
10:49 AM May 12th from HootSuite

BTW: We’re working on our “50 Most Powerful” issue for July. Everyone wants to know the criteria for making the list. One of the requirements is simple: Buy me dinner.
9:07 AM May 11th from web

Read three Dyer speeches and I’m still wide awake. Going to read Orlando’s crime stats . . . . On second thought, maybe not. I’ll never get to sleep then.
4:52 AM May 8th from twitterfeed

Back from my walk. It’s scary out there. Lots of guns. Couldn’t tell which one might have belonged to Val Demings. Not kiddin.
3:49 AM May 8th from twitterfeed

Still can’t get to sleep. I’m going to walk the city’s mean streets and look for our police chief’s missing service pistol. She’s been worried sick about it.
3:47 AM May 8th from twitterfeed

It’s late. Can’t get to sleep. Channel surfin. Just wondering out loud, y’all—if John Morgan is always chasing ambulances, why hasn’t he lost any weight?
 2:51 AM May 8th from twitterfeed

389 channels on cable TV and I can’t find anything to watch. I wish “Seinfeld” were on all night.
1:28 AM May 8th from twitterfeed

Who’s providing local TV news anchor Martha Sugalski’s wardrobe? Forever 21? I’m switching to watch Jacqueline London. Muy caliente.    
11:01 PM May 7th from twitterfeed

I don’t know no reason why writers are using more double negatives nowadays. What up with that?
1:24 PM May 4th from web

No dangling modifiers, but lots of problems with misplaced antecedents. What would ‘writers’ do without editors?
1:17 PM May 4th from web
OMG! I just caught a subject-verb disagreement in a story I am editing. Check back in a few. A dangling modifier can’t be far behind. 
1:02 PM May 4th from web

Still all worked up over Dyer’s ‘evil’ comment. No Xmas card for him!
2:02 AM May 2nd from web

Ouch! Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer just referred to SunRail opponents—and I am one of them—as ‘forces of evil.’  Talk about a sore loser.   
5:32 PM May 1st from Twitterfon

Orange County Mayor Rich Crotty’s name just came up on my caller ID. I don’t have time to answer—too busy Twitterin’ drivel. Bet he’s calling to say keep up the good work.  
8:01 AM April 30th from Twitterfon

I just met timeshare king David Siegel at his Isleworth home. He wasn’t anything like I imagined.
12:02 PM April 16th from Twitterfon

Now a city dweller! Yep, moved from the burbs to College Park. Mayor Dyer is a neighbor. Wonder if we’ll hang out. He seems like a good guy to have a beer with.
8:49 AM April 12th from web

I am so ticked about Crotty raising tolls that I run tollbooths in protest. Anyone else out there stickin’ it to the man?
10:38 AM April 10th from web

I apologize for previous comment. I misspoke. Twitter will help me stay in touch with you, my dear followers. Please check back often for more insightful Tweets.
9:01 AM April 9th from web

I am now up to speed on Twitter. It’s for morons with ADD.
2:06 PM April 8th from web

My boss just came into my office and said I have to Twitter to let readers know what I’m thinkin. What the hell is Twitter?
4:59 PM April 7th from web


Edit Module
Want to read the whole issue? Download and read this issue and others on Magzter.

Add your comment:
Edit Module Edit ModuleShow Tags


Edit ModuleShow TagsEdit ModuleShow Tags

Guides & Resources

Dentists Q&As

We selected 4 dentists to weigh in on questions related to dental health.

Orlando's Top Dentists of 2015

Our annual list featuring 216 of the area’s finest dental professionals.

Guide to Private Schools 2015

Our annual guide to private schools will help you chart an educational course for your family.

2014 Finest Doctors

Two national surveys name the Best and Top Doctors in Orlando, as recommended by their peers.

Orlando's Top Chiropractors of 2014

More than 75 Central Florida chiropractors make our inaugural list.

Fall Getaways

Fall is finally on its way and now is the perfect time to plan your getaway. Check out some of these great deals and special destinations just a short drive from Orlando.

Real Estate's Hot 100

Whether you’re trying to buy or sell real estate, getting the best deal means finding an agent who possesses savvy and know-how and gets results. This list showcases some Central Florida agents who have demonstrated those skills.

Spotlight on Plastic Surgeons 2014

This special advertising section highlights the accomplishments of plastic surgeons, who tell about their commitment to helping people look their best.

Orlando's Best Lawyers of 2014

Get informed with our annual list of more than 400 Orlando-area attorneys, compiled by Best Lawyers in America. The annual selection features lawyers in 78 areas of practice.

Spotlight on Lawyers 2014

Our special advertising section featuring profiles on local lawyers.

Premier Doctors

This special advertising section highlights the professionalism, backgrounds and achievements of dozens of doctors.

Best Lawyers

When you need an attorney, you want someone with a strong reputation and a proven track record.
Edit ModuleShow Tags

MoreRecent Blog Posts

The 411 on I-Drive 360

10 Things You Should Know About Orlando's Newest Attraction

Morse Museum's Tiffany Collection Dazzles

Winter Park's Morse Museum houses stunning glasswork by Louis Comfort Tiffany.

Where to Find the Best Sushi in Orlando

Our top picks for the best and most creative sushi spots in and around Orlando.

Parent-Friendly Staycations

With scores of resorts and hotels dotting the Orlando landscape, options for kid-friendly overnights are seemingly endless. But what about a getaway where parents get a little rest and relaxation too?