Male Behavior: Why You. . .

are funnier than women:

Because humor is what you need to get women’s attention. The fairer sex, on the other hand, doesn’t have to be funny to attract men. A study by the University of New Mexico found that humor has evolved through sexual selection as an indicator of intelligence. Humor shows a woman that her potential mate has high cognitive functioning, a desirable trait for ladies on the prowl. Ask any woman what she looks for in a man, and you’re guaranteed to find humor somewhere between six-pack abs and a fat 401k. You’ll need to have those, too.


think about sex all the time:  

Because you can get enough sports on TV nowadays thanks to ESPN and NFL Sunday Ticket. So if sports isn’t on your mind, sex must be, right? Maybe. The Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction found that 54 percent of men said they think about sex at least (italics added for emphasis) once a day. That means they could be thinking about sex a little or a lot every day. But that also means 46 percent of men don’t think about sex much at all. The study contradicted Cosmo magazine’s research that concluded men have only one thing on their minds.




love Jackass movies or The Three Stooges:

Because you see the humor and not the pain in Steve-O stapling his scrotum to his leg or the Stooges’ Moe (right) poking Curly in the eyes just before slapping him silly. Not that you needed a study to tell you that but Brigham Young University did one anyhow. Called “Gender and the Appreciation of Physically Aggressive ‘Slapstick’ Humor,” the study also revealed that women prefer vocal humor over physical comedy. No word yet if BYU plans to study why men find farting funny and women don’t.



won’t ask for directions:

With GPS in cars and on cell phones, a man never has to hear “just pull over and ask somebody” again. But before satellite technology intervened, you were only following the path evolution set you on, wrong turns and all. In his book Why Men Won’t Ask for Directions: Seductions of Sociobiology, biologist Richard C. Francis asserts that modern man is led, even in the wrong direction, by his primal instincts to hunt. A man relies on spatial cognition to track and kill his prey, though getting dinner may mean looking for a Wendy’s. Women are attracted to the best hunters, or providers in today’ world, and thus the process of sexual selection rears its ugly head on this page once again. Long story short: GPS improves your chances of scoring with women.



love gadgets:

Ever hear the saying “whoever has the most toys wins”? Maybe it was you who said it while showing guy friends your latest acquisition from The Sharper Image: a ball-point pen with the built-in HD video camera. “My name is Bond, James Bond,” you tell them as you slide the pen into your shirt pocket. Gadgets may be toys for men, but they are more than a plaything to them. In his book Boys and Their Toys: Understanding Men by Understanding Their Relationship with Gadgets, Bill Adler Jr. suggests gadgets represent a man’s wealth, power, intellect and taste. If that’s true, what does that combination iPod/toilet paper holder (right) say about you?


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