Twitter Dee, Twitter Dumb

My boss instructed me some time back to begin Twittering—or is it Tweetin’?—as part of my job. I struck a confident pose and told her I would get right on it. I had no idea what she was talking about. A few hours of Internet research and discussions with people under age 30 educated me about Twitter. It is a short message system, via Internet or cell phone, that carries a running commentary of subscribers’ random thoughts and observations. A Twitterer follows other Twitterers’ Tweets. A Tweet can go up to 140 characters in length. I can’t write a “please excuse” school-absence note in so few characters. But try I must, so here are some Tweets I would have posted on Orlando magazine’s Twitter page had I been able to figure out how to do it.

Scandalous Behavior, of That I'm Positive

"Crotty and Demings dealt from the bottom of the deck, turning up the “denial” and “victim” cards, respectively, when they reacted to scandals involving them."

The $13 Billion Paper Shredder

 Short on resources and squeezed for cash by its corporate master, the Sentinel no longer has the bark of a vigilant public watchdog.

Feeding the Fire at the Anthonys'

 Sometimes I couldn’t tell whether I was watching a news broadcast or an episode of Big Brother.

My Train of Thought: Let's Derail SunRail

"A result of SunRail would be more cars on more pavement, contributing to global warming and further preventing rainwater from seeping into the aquifer."

The Paradox of Government

"Other than bailed-out banks and Wall Street brokerage houses, I can’t think of any private companies that gave raises this year after their revenues fell."

A City Multiplex's Suburban Angst

Parking is the universal gripe everyone has about downtown, either finding it or paying for it.

 

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