02/03/10

Better Than Gym Class

Thousands of Florida children are opting out of physical education classes to take other, more meaningful courses. Some of the more popular alternatives:

  1. Latin Vaulting
  2. Xbox Theory
  3. Psychology of Glenn Beck
  4. Physics of Dodge Ball
  5. AP Couch Potato Upholstering
  6. Pre-Calculus Flossing
  7. Mitochondrial Cell Phone Division
  8. Souvenir Ceramics
  9. History of Sweat
10. Laptopographical Design

 

Posted at 04:55 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0

11/17/09

Ram I Am

I do not like that weird Dodge Ram “My Tank Is Full’’ commercial.
For one thing, the tank won’t stay full for long, with gas mileage of 13 mpg in the city.
And I don't think that's the Ram talking. I mean, I don't see any lips moving on that grille, do you?
"My name is Ram and my tank is full.'' Sheesh. What's next?
“My name is Whopper and my bun is soft.’’
I do not like “My Name Is Ram.’’
I do not like that Ram-I-Am.
I will not watch it in a bar.
I will not watch it in a car.
I will not watch it on a phone.
I will not watch it all alone.
I will not watch it with a dog.
I will not watch it on a blog.
But you can, by clicking

Posted at 01:53 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1

11/16/09

Night Lights--with the Kids!

11/12/09

A Motto for Our Times

I couldn't get out of bed the other day to go see Colin Powell and Laura Bush at the "Get Motivated Business Seminar" at Amway Arena, so I'll just have to rely on my beloved office wall poster to provide continuing insipration.

Posted at 07:16 AM | Permalink | Comments: 0

11/02/09

Facebook Ate My Brain

Barry Glenn got up this morning and put on one shoe, then the other.
 
10 people liked this.
9 people said they did the very same thing.
8 people asked which shoe I put on first.
7 people recommended that I become friends with other people who wear shoes.
6 people said “LOL! Working for the weekend! ROFL!’’
5 people asked me to become a fan of “Shoes First.’’
4 people tagged my left shoe in a photo.
3 people said I should start playing “Shoeville.’’
2 people linked to a New York Times story about a proposed...

Posted at 02:02 PM | Permalink | Comments: 1

09/21/09

Road Kill

I was doing some breakneck rubbernecking the other day on I-4, trying to determine the cause of an eastbound bottleneck near Lee Road. But given that I’m president of the fan club for the Department of Underachieving Highway Master Builders (DUHMB), I already knew the answer.

If you drive afternoon rush hour toward Maitland, you know the routine: Just past Fairbanks Avenue, traffic clogs up because the right lane suddenly becomes an exit-only lane for Lee Road, so it’s merge hell as non-exiting drivers realize they have to get out of that lane. A few years ago, while I-4 was being widened, couldn’t an extra exit lane have been added, with the current one extended over the bridge as a through lane? Think about how many accidents or close calls have occurred....

Posted at 08:36 PM | Permalink | Comments: 0